I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
