Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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