Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
