Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
