no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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