Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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