So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
time to smoke my breakfast
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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