at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
