I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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