Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
