then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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