There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
