Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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