we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
