Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
