Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
