I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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