oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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