It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
