Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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