As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
