theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
