dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
