hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
