This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
