these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
