Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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