I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
if i died would you start the facebook group?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
