Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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