she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
