Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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