Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize