i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
