New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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