perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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