You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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