He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
