Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
