Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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