That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
