when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize