I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
