here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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