great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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