Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize