haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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