Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
