lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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