He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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