afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
