Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Randomize
