stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
