I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
