i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
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