**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
