It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
