So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
