Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
