I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
