he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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