Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
