Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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