this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize